I feel most connected to someone when I watch them face an obstacle dead on. In those moments, all I see in their eyes are determination and focus. It is in these moments that I see their strength. Never would I have thought that I would feel that same gripping sensation from anything not human. Honestly, why would I think that there could be any other being on earth that could bring that same amount of emotion to me? Why would I think that something other than man could be strong? It was because I was looking but I was not seeing.
Our dog, Pep, had been with the family since I was 5. He had lived a happy life in his youth, making his rounds around the neighborhood and impregnating all the other dogs. He had his fair share of walks, or maybe it would be more appropriate to call them dog chases. He was a ball of energy that we could hardly contain. He lived like he could not lose, he was strong. But just like me and my siblings were, he was getting older. We reached a position where we no longer took him out for walks. We no longer played outside for hours, tiring ourselves out. Pep had reached a standstill. It was a nadir in his life where he simply watched the days pass, hoping to do something exciting, but too old to actually do anything. He was 11 years old and just getting older. Then, the fateful day had come where watching another day pass by was not going to happen. Pep was dying.
I do not think that many dog owners have really watched their dog die. My siblings and I did though. We were totally aware of what was happening. Pep could not stand up, so we all just lied there next to him. I always knew that he was officially a part of our family, but it was only when he was dying did I realize that he knew it too. He would not let go. I saw him suffering. I saw him crying out. But he was not allowing himself to take that last breath while we were still around him.
Our dog, Pep, had been with the family since I was 5. He had lived a happy life in his youth, making his rounds around the neighborhood and impregnating all the other dogs. He had his fair share of walks, or maybe it would be more appropriate to call them dog chases. He was a ball of energy that we could hardly contain. He lived like he could not lose, he was strong. But just like me and my siblings were, he was getting older. We reached a position where we no longer took him out for walks. We no longer played outside for hours, tiring ourselves out. Pep had reached a standstill. It was a nadir in his life where he simply watched the days pass, hoping to do something exciting, but too old to actually do anything. He was 11 years old and just getting older. Then, the fateful day had come where watching another day pass by was not going to happen. Pep was dying.
I do not think that many dog owners have really watched their dog die. My siblings and I did though. We were totally aware of what was happening. Pep could not stand up, so we all just lied there next to him. I always knew that he was officially a part of our family, but it was only when he was dying did I realize that he knew it too. He would not let go. I saw him suffering. I saw him crying out. But he was not allowing himself to take that last breath while we were still around him.
For about an hour, we just told him that it was all right, we were going to be okay. But he just would not. It was almost as if I could hear him saying "No, not while you all are here, not while you all are watching, I am not weak." The look in his eyes had more vitality than I think I will ever see in a human's eyes. There were no doubts in them, it was untainted vigor. He did not want us to see him die. So we left him, and he died. But that look in his eyes, full of strength, full of force, will never fade away from my memories. I saw strength in its purest form that day, and I saw it in a dog.
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